Marriage consists of a lot of trial and error so in the last couple years, I’ve learned a lot about what is good and not good for a marriage. Because of this, we’ve made many changes which have even included eliminating certain individuals from our life. It hasn’t been easy, but we know it will be worth it in the end. Married life is already challenging, but when you add in certain variables, it can really make your marriage even harder to manage. I love married life and I take our marriage very seriously. In the end, Zack is my best friend and he’s the one I’m spending the rest of my life with so here are five things we’ve eliminated from our marriage to make it stronger.
Negative people can really put a strain on your marriage. We’ve had to make a few cuts from our life over the last few years and honestly, it was the best thing for our marriage. I’ve had people in my life who just plain weren’t good for us. They weren’t supportive of our marriage or life choices, they were constantly telling us everything that was “wrong” with us, and they created drama that we didn’t need in our lives or in our marriage. It’s so important to surround yourself with positive and supportive people and that’s what Zack and I do our best to do. I couldn’t be more thankful for the amazing people we have in our life.
OTHER PEOPLE’S ISSUES.
It’s not your job to take on other people’s problems. Just like having negative people in your life, it’s not good to take on their issues either. Like I said above, we’ve had to remove a few people from our life because we had gotten to a point where their issues were affecting our marriage. Just being surrounded by people like that caused me to constantly be moody and complain about them which then led to me taking out my anger on Zack. And of course he didn’t want to hear me complaining like that all the time either. It can be a huge strain on your marriage and you don’t need it. No matter how hard you want to try to help, do your best to only focus on your own issues and if you absolutely feel the need to get involved, then find a way to keep it out of your married life.
I’m not saying you can’t have social media profiles or anything like that, but don’t use social media to bash your spouse or to tell the world about issues going on in your marriage or anything along those lines. Unfortunately, I see this a lot in my Facebook newsfeed and it’s incredibly sad to me. It’s in no way appropriate and is very immature. I could never talk badly about Zack or express my issues on social media. To me, any “issues” we may have are between the two of us. Zack’s my best friend so I always talk highly of him to everyone both in person and online.
I’m not saying to not have expectations in your marriage, but they need to be realistic ones. Don’t expect your spouse to be like every man you see in romance movies. Chances are, it’s not going to happen. You’ll both be left feeling disappointed. You’ll be upset that he isn’t exactly the way you want him to be and he’ll be upset that he’s not good enough for you. Base your expectations off of who your spouse is as a person. Zack, for example has a horrible memory sometimes so I do not expect him to remember every single detail of our marriage.
Zack and I have friends that are both male and female and for the most part, they’re mutual friends. He doesn’t have female friends that I don’t know about and I don’t have male friends that he doesn’t know about. Even though neither one of us are worried whatsoever about cheating happening, I don’t feel that it’s appropriate for either one of us to be spending alone time with the opposite sex. Now that I think about it, I actually don’t even talk to the opposite sex aside from my roommate who is Zack’s best friend (his girlfriend also lives with us). To me, it’s just so much easier to not even put yourself in a questionable situation.
What have you eliminated from your marriage to make it stronger and more successful?