I’m sorry. I know I’ve been extra challenging to deal with lately, so I guess that’s the best way to start this letter. I’m sorry for being a really crappy military wife. As a “regular” wife, I feel like I’m pretty good most times. I love being your wife. But I’m a lousy military wife and for that, I’m sorry. I can’t handle 4am goodbyes at the airport followed by a year long separation. I hate going to bed by myself and feeling so alone throughout the day while you’re asleep on the other side of the world. I hate having zero control over our life and always coming in second to your job. I hate when your phone is blowing up with texts from work or when you get called in on your day off. I hate not being able to make plans without the chance of them being canceled a dozen times. I’ll be honest, sometimes, this life just sucks.
Although I don’t handle any of this nearly as well as you’d want me to, I really don’t regret any of it one bit. Marrying you was the biggest and scariest decision I’ve ever made, but it’s also been the best decision I’ve ever made. I still remember the first night I spent with you. The first time you kissed me, held me, and told me you loved me. I remember it all like it was yesterday and it still makes me smile to think back on. You’re truly the most amazing person I’ve ever met and I wouldn’t be the person I am today without you. I couldn’t possibly be more proud of you and everything you do for me, your friends, our family, and most importantly, this country. I’m so thankful to have you as my best friend and as my husband and there’s no one else I’d rather have by my side.
I can’t promise that this will get easier for me, because it probably won’t. I can’t promise to not pick arguments with you when I’m upset and missing you, because we both know it’s bound to happen. I can’t promise to never complain about your work schedule, because sometimes it’s just plain inconvenient and sucks and I just need some time to vent. I can’t promise I’ll ever learn how to cook a steak properly or that I’ll stop spending so much money on iced coffee, makeup, and new bags. I can try, but I can’t make any promises.
But here’s what I can promise: I can promise that I’m not going anywhere. I’m sorry, but you’re stuck with me. I can promise to put everything I have into this marriage and to support you in every choice you make. I can promise to always be there for you through anything life throws at us. Good and bad. I can promise to watch football with you every Sunday and I’ll do my best to not complain about it. I can promise to be the best wife I can possibly be. And most importantly, I can promise to love you unconditionally every day for the rest of our lives.