I remember everything about the moment when I got the positive pregnancy test. We had just moved to California and were living in a small little motel room. We were tired, stressed, and a bit broke as we tried to get ourselves settled into a new home. Zack had returned home from Japan the month prior and we immediately jumped into trying for a baby. Never did I think it would have happened our first month trying, but it did. And one month later, I was taking a pregnancy test in a tiny little motel room bathroom while Zack was outside walking the dog. It came back positive in less than 60 seconds.
I remember crying. A lot. Both happy tears and a few scared tears as well. I remember trying to compose myself before Zack walked back into the room so he wouldn’t think something was wrong. He had barely gotten through the door when I bombarded him with the positive pregnancy test. While we were both super excited and it was completely planned, I think it still came as a bit of a surprise to both of us. And although he probably won’t admit it, he was probably just as worried as I was considering we didn’t even have a place to live yet at that point.
A month later, we were in the doctor’s office seeing our little one on the ultrasound for the first time and hearing her tiny heartbeat. In that moment, everything became real. We were actually having a baby. A week after Christmas we were back at the hospital to find out the gender. Going into it, he was positive it was a boy and I was positive it was a girl. We waited anxiously for the ultrasound tech to take all the required photos of our little one to make sure she was developing properly and then she asked if we wanted to know the gender.
The moment she told us it was a girl, I broke down crying. Not because I was disappointed in her not being a boy, but because she was absolutely perfect to me in every way imaginable. But I was slightly concerned that Zack would be disappointed in not having the boy he had envisioned himself having. We didn’t have a name picked out for her at that point so Zack insisted we choose one before leaving the hospital. He chose Allison.
Five months later, we found ourselves driving to the hospital at almost 11 o’clock at night to welcome our little girl into the world. I ended up having back labor which was completely excruciating, but Zack held my hand and was right there with me for every moment (a big deal for him considering he hates hand holding!). Even when I felt like I couldn’t do it, he was there to tell me I could. Hours later, our little one was born and he couldn’t keep his eyes off her. He was the first one to feed her and the first one to change her diaper. He sat on the couch, holding her close while the nurses got me cleaned up and ready to be moved to my recovery room.
In those two days we spent in the hospital, I was terrified. Terrified of how having a baby would affect our marriage. Terrified of whether or not I’d be a good mom or whether or not I could balance having a baby on top of work and school. Terrified of whether or not I could handle being a mom, period. And while I know he wont admit it, I know a part of him was just as scared as I was.
Now, almost 13 months later, and about to celebrate his second Father’s Day and man has this guy grown this past year. Going into parenthood, I was the one who had a bit more experience than he did in the baby department. So I took to motherhood fairly easily. But let’s be honest, fatherhood is so much different than motherhood and in some ways, it can be even more challenging.
Like many babies, Allie didn’t take to Zack as quickly as she took to me. I carried her in my womb and gave birth to her and was the one that cared for her a good 90% of the time. So our bond developed much more quickly and easily. But watching Zack and Allie’s bond grow this past year has been truly amazing. Gone are the days where she prefers my arms over his. And while it’s sometimes sad to know I’m not her #1 anymore, I’ve truly enjoyed watching the two of them grow close.
Becoming first-time parents has been such a big transition for us and this past year has had its ups and downs. I’m so in love with this little girl and even more in love with this man that I’m so lucky to call my husband. It’s been such an incredible experience becoming a mom and watching our daughter grow. She changes every single day and her little personality is absolutely adorable. She’s such a lovable, happy and healthy child and I couldn’t ask for more.
But I swear, there’s nothing more amazing than watching your husband become a father. I am so incredibly thankful for this man right here. This guy works all day to provide for our family. He comes home at the end of the day, probably exhausted, and yet he jumps right into our home life. He brings me home wine, cooks dinner, straightens up the house if I didn’t get to it that day, and helps entertain Allie while I get things ready for bed. He takes over parenting duties so I can take an extra long shower or hit the gym for a good workout. He gets Allie ready for bedtime and cuddles her in the mornings while I get dressed for the day. And he does all of this without being asked and with a smile on his face. Every single time.
Becoming parents has made me fall in love with him all over again and I am so unbelievably lucky to be able to do life with him. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for our little family and I’m excited to see Zack and Allie’s bond grow over the years. Happy (early) Father’s Day to one of the most amazing dads I know! I wouldn’t be the mom I am without you. Thank you so much for everything you do for me and for our little family. You are so loved and appreciated!