Haaaaappy Wednesday everyone! How is everyone’s day going? This morning is a bit slower of a morning compared to recent mornings around here, but it’s been sooo nice and so very much needed. This isn’t the post I originally had planned for today (I’ll be honest, I failed to complete that post on time. So it’ll be up tomorrow!), but after taking a step back from life this morning, I came across a realization that I really wanted to talk to you all about.
If you know me, you know that I tend to take on A LOT in my everyday life. Currently I’m balancing my marriage, mom life, my blog (along with MANY blog projects), a YouTube channel, earning my graduate degree, my health, our home and so much more every. single. day. And while that sounds like a lot (it is), I’m finally feeling happy and balanced in our every day life. I’m not feeling overwhelmed by my to do list and I can honestly say I’m thriving.
It’s my first semester back at my graduate program and I’m so happy to have an A in my course. I’m back to consistently pumping out new content on this blog and on my social media channels for you all. I have a few big projects in the works for my blog and the future of my career along with some amazing collaborations coming up with various brands. Our home is feeling 10x neater and more organized since purchasing the book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. Allie is happy and healthy and doing amazing. We have some super fun activities planned for the summer and during our last 4 months here in San Diego. And all in all, we’re all doing fantastic.
It’s a very freeing feeling to feel happy and balanced these days. As a mom, we tend to try to take on anything and everything completely on our own and then we get stressed when we can’t achieve our vision of the “perfect” wife and mom. We all do it and it’s so incredibly unhealthy.
I’m not perfect by any means. Zack doesn’t come home to a delicious home cooked meal every day. I’m not always wearing a full face of makeup and high heels. Allie isn’t always dressed in pretty dresses and bows. Our home is clean but far from spotless. We don’t always eat a perfectly balanced meal and I don’t always make it to the gym on my busy days. Sometimes I skip a blogging day or I submit a homework assignment a day late. And that’s okay. Really, it is! We’ve had a few days here and there where we’ve even forgotten to feed the dog breakfast. It happens.
It wasn’t until I started to re-work my idea of perfection that I finally started to feel better. I let go of the idea that I had to be doing anything and everything ALL the time. I still do A LOT, but the difference is that I’m now not trying to do it all on a daily basis. Yesterday, for example was 100% spent deep cleaning our home. I woke up wanting to declutter and make our home a less stressful environment so that was my focus. Today, my focus is a mix of being a mom and getting my blog life a bit more organized for the rest of the week. Tomorrow will probably be spent doing a mix of tasks to start prepping for the weekend. Rather than trying to fit in every single obligation every single day, I’m breaking it down into more manageable individual tasks. Make sense? I hope so!
Every night before bed, I set my “schedule” and to do list for the following day. I choose an area of my life that will be my main focus for that day and then everything else comes second to that main focus. So as mentioned before, my two focus areas today are my blog and my daughter. So it’s not a big deal to me at all if the dishes don’t get done. It doesn’t matter to me if the laundry is put away or is the living is vacuumed. Our home is not my focus today. If at the end of the day, our daughter is happy and healthy and I got a bit of blog work done, then I consider this a successful day.
This is what I do each and every day. If I have the time to straighten up then great! But it’s not the end of the world for me if it doesn’t happen. It’s important to not be too hard on yourself. And not only that, but it’s important to ask for help and team up with your partner as well. It’s okay if I don’t cook dinner one night because if I don’t, Zack will. He’ll come home from work and do the dishes or care for Allie or cook dinner, or whatever it may be. So that contributes to why I don’t get upset with myself if I don’t get to something one day. That teamwork is so important and you need to know that you are not solely responsible for everything in your home.
Let go of the thought that as a wife and mom, you’re the one who is responsible for your home. The more you add to your own plate, the more stressed you’re going to be. So I simply just remove things from my own plate and pass them onto Zack’s plate or I’ll save it for another day. And that’s been so unbelievably helpful for me. It allows me to go about my day without feeling like I’m drowning in obligations and responsibilities.
The last thing I really want to talk about here is self-care. I know I sound like a broken record with this one, but I cannot stress enough how important it is to take care of yourself each and every day. If you are happy and healthy then you’ll be better able to be the best mom and wife you can be. Your family needs you to be happy and healthy. And that’s part of why I’m feeling so good lately.
I’d love to be a bit more consistent in my workouts but currently, my go to self-care activity has been binge watching YouTube at the end of the day. For real. After I put Allie to bed at night, I get comfortable on the couch, plug in my ear buds and watch YouTube until Zack is ready to go up to bed. No cell phone, no work, no social media. Just me and my YouTube. And this small action helps me so much!